i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
