Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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