My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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