i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
