I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
