im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
