The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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