ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
