Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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