Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
