I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
