I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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