Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
