you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
