My friends, they love my intelligence
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
