Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
