You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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