I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
