addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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