Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
There was a lot of him and a little penis
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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