i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
