I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize