Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
