goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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