I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
