I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
