so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
