I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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