I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
