I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
