I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
