Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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