We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
