I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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