I think i peed on brittanys purse
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
