Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
