the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
