I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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