so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
