did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize