Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i think i have herpe
just one?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
