don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
