I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
