I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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