Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
