The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
