Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
