My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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