I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
