Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
