So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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