Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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