well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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