he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
