birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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